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A funeral marks the
close of a human life on earth. It is the opportunity for friends and
family to express their grief, to give thanks for the life which has now
completed its journey in this world and to commend the person into God's
keeping.
As
far back into history as we can penetrate, human beings seem to have felt
the need for a ceremonial leave-taking of those who have died.
The
funeral service of the Church of England can be very short and quiet with
only a few members of the family present or an occasion of great solemnity
with music, hymns and a packed church.
Whether
in a parish church or a crematorium chapel, it can be the plain funeral
service from the Prayer Book or Common Worship or with the addition of
hymns, favourite prayers and readings, an address. It can very appropriately
be set into the context of a Communion Service.
Whatever
the pattern of service, the words and actions all speak of a loving God
and the preciousness to Him of every human being.
Questions
of life and death
The funeral service will reflect the personality of the one who has died
and the circumstances of their death. Feelings of grief, gratitude, joy
and sadness often intermingle.
Sometimes,
a sense of tragedy is uppermost, especially when it is a young person
who has died. When it is the end of a long and fruitful life, the feelings
of thanksgiving can be strongest.
There
are times when the death of a faithful Christian seems to be the consummation
of all they have lived for and the funeral service is a triumphal departure
for their true home. As for Christian in The Pilgrim's Progress, 'all
the trumpets sound for them on the other side'.
Funeral
services always raise profound questions about the meaning of life and
death. Jesus himself believed in a life-giving God: 'the God of the living,
not of the dead.' Christians believe that Christ's resurrection is the
triumph of good over evil and of life over death and has made eternal
life available to us.
All
through history, Christian doctrine has wrestled with the mysteries which
are known as the Four last things: heaven, hell, death and judgement.
We know that everybody will be judged by God and the relationship between
God's love and His judgement and mercy is one of the constant themes of
Christian writing.
What
heaven is like, none of us dare say too precisely but we know that we
shall delight in the presence and love of God and of the whole company
of heaven. Whatever is wonderful about life here on earth is only a glimpse
of the glory of the life that is to come.
Most
Christians would describe hell as separation from that love of God. The
separation is never what God wants, it is our own responsibility.
What
happens after we die remains a mystery. Some Anglicans believe in Christ's
continuing power beyond death to cleanse us of our sins and bring us into
the closer presence of God. That is why those of the more Catholic tradition
pray for those who are dead.
Evangelical
Anglicans, who emphasise that eternal life depends on decisions of faith
taken in this world, see no justification in the New Testament for such
prayers with regard to those who have died, apart from prayers of thanksgiving.
The
funeral service
The service begins with the priest or other minister reading aloud such
reassuring sentences from the scriptures as: 'I am the resurrection and
the life,' saith the Lord; 'he that believeth in me, though he were dead,
yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never
die,' and: 'I know that my Redeemer liveth ...'
A
psalm - often The Lord is my shepherd - follows and lessons are read telling
of God's care and of the hope of eternal life.
At
this point, there may be an address or a sermon remembering the life and
work of the dead person and the great Christian beliefs about life beyond
death. Such words can be a comfort and strength to the mourners but sometimes
it is felt that the service and the readings from the Bible convey all
that needs to be said.
If
the family wish it, the Communion service follows. The prayers recall
the promise of the resurrection, entrust the dead person to the love and
mercy of God and ask for comfort and strength for those who mourn.
The
committal
The committal is a particularly solemn moment of the funeral service.
It takes place either at the graveside or, in the case of a cremation,
in the crematorium chapel or in church before the hearse leaves for the
crematorium.
In
the cemetery or churchyard, the family will gather round the open grave
into which the coffin is lowered and they will hear the words: 'We therefore
commit his (or her) body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal
life.' Handfuls of earth are then scattered on the coffin.
In
a crematorium, the words of committal may be accompanied by the closing
of a curtain to hide the coffin from view or the coffin is moved slowly
out of sight.
The
committal can be a very emotional moment. Many who are suffering grief
find that, even in their sadness, the words of prayer can lift them towards
the experience of Christian rejoicing in the knowledge of life beyond
death.
The
offering of prayer and the trust that the person is in God's safe hands
can begin the process of healing the grief of loss.
Arranging
a funeral
The person who has died may have left a paragraph in their Will describing
the sort of funeral arrangements they hoped for. Naturally, the family
will want to keep to such arrangements as far as possible.
Not
everyone knows that they have the right to a funeral in their parish church,
even if they and the dead person have not been church-goers. Nor do practising
Christians always realise that they can have a Communion service as part
of the funeral.
Parish
clergy regard the taking of funerals as an important part of their work.
They give a lot of time to visiting families, comforting those who are
facing loss, finding out what service they want to use and helping them
to arrange it.
If
one of the local clergy is to be asked to take the service, this should
be done before any other funeral arrangements are made to make sure one
is free and available. If the priest did not know the dead person, then
it would help to provide some details, especially if there is to be an
address.
The
funeral director plays a very important part in all these arrangements
and will want to know if the funeral is to be in the parish church or
if the vicar is to take the service in the crematorium. Funeral directors
know the local clergy, the local cemeteries and the crematoria. As part
of a national network of funeral directors, they can, if necessary, give
advice on funerals in other parts of the country, as well as on costs
and fees.
Burials
and cremations
In many country parishes, the churchyard is still open for burials and
the parish clergy are able to advise on suitable memorials. In most towns,
burials now take place in the local cemetery and the funeral director
can advise.
The
Church of England has nothing against cremation; these days six out of
10 funerals make use of the crematorium. This leaves the question of what
is to be done with the ashes. Crematoria have gardens of rest where they
can be buried and many churchyards have a special place set aside for
burying ashes even when there is no space left for graves.
When
this burial takes place, usually a few days after the funeral, a further
very brief service can be held if the family wish it and some suitable
commemorative mark or record may be made.
After
the funeral
People who have lost someone close to them are often so busy with practical
details and arrangements between the death and the funeral that they do
not experience the full sense of their loss until later.
Grieving
is a natural and important part of coming to terms with and healing this
loss and it may continue for several months. If the clergy are asked,
they will try to help. One often finds it is those who have suffered a
close bereavement themselves, clergy or lay people, who can most easily
offer comfort and support to those who mourn.
Comfort
is also to be found in the promises of Jesus Christ, in the hope of the
Resurrection and in the belief that the beloved person is safe in the
hands of God.
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